What would you trade me for a warm box of hair, a half-eaten jelly donut and a garden gnome that's missing?

Well, your trade proposal sounds reasonable, but without some crucial info--such as what type of ahir (i.e., from which region of the body), whether or not it's human hair, whether or not it's from a live being, what color it is; also the type of jelly in the donut, and how prominent the lack of ears on the gnome appear to the casual observer.